Dr. Luke Kim, 77, retired clinical psychologist and psychiatrist
Grace Kim, 76, retired teacher
Married 45 years
Whether or not you’re smitten with Valentine’s Day, we can all agree that on any day of the year, being in love is a pretty darn good thing.
But staying enamored? That’s a feat that requires much more than
candy hearts and
lace-trimmed pillows.
Fear not, commitmentphobes. There is proof that love can last a lifetime.
Check out these
long-married residents of Leisure World, a retirement community in
Seal Beach, Calif.,
who have stuck together for decades and are still going strong.
— Corina Knoll
How did you two meet?
Grace: We went to the same church and then the same university. I was the president of the teacher’s college, and he was the president of the medical school. The schools always got together to have a conference and discussion group, so we were always doing some project together.
Luke: In Korea, one-on-one dating is difficult. Everything is group setting.
Grace: If I date, then everybody says, “Oh they are going to get married.” So we didn’t date. We worked on projects together and discussed philosophy and Christianity. Finally, he asked me to go out. I said no. I was not interested in marriage. I wanted to be a missionary and go to Africa. That was my plan. If I become a missionary, marriage is difficult, and I was not interested in men anyway. Too many boys asked me to go out. It was just too much headache.
Luke: She was pretty, she was outgoing, she was friendly and she stood out very well among the girls.
Grace: One day, he had free tickets to go to “Carmen,” the opera. I went because I like music. After the opera, we went to a coffee house and we talked. He asked me, “What is your dream?”
Luke: She said she liked [theologian/philosopher/musician/doctor] Albert Schweitzer.
Grace: Schweitzer was my hero. Then Luke said, “I have a similar feeling.” He was very humble and intelligent and did not brag about anything. After that night, he asked me to go see “White Christmas.” Afterward we walked around a park and talked about Christian faith, future plans, our dreams, and what we really want to see in this world. We were very philosophical. And he liked poems. So one day he gave me a book of all my favorite poems.
Luke: But then I came to the United States. I think we got married seven years after that.
Grace: He went to the University of Arizona in Tucson because they gave him a full scholarship. He wanted to get a doctorate degree in clinical psychology, then finish medical training and return to Korea to set up a new department. That’s why I stayed in Korea. He wrote a letter every week.
Was it difficult to stay in a long-distance relationship?
Grace: Lots of women really liked him. Many Caucasian women wanted a date with him. He said, “I’m engaged.” Actually, we weren’t engaged. We were special friends, that’s all. We didn’t talk about marriage or anything.