Dear Dr. Clara:

My 6-year-old daughter has a best friend, and they are inseparable. But honestly, I cannot stand her mother. She is crude, obnoxious, cheap and vulgar, and it’s very difficult for me to spend time pretending to be nice to her on play dates. I want to encourage my daughter to play with other children, but she won’t listen to me. What can I do?

- Play date from hell, Samantha

 

Dear Samantha:

Don’t make this about you. Certainly, there’s nothing wrong with encouraging your daughter to play with other kids as well, but it would be cruel to separate your daughter from her best friend just because you can’t stand her mother. Get used to it — there are a lot of strange parents out there.

Minimize the time you spend with the obnoxious mom. You don’t have to hang with her the whole time during the play date. And figure out why you have such a strong dislike for her. It could be your issue. I know there’s a lot of weird moms out there, but don’t let that ruin your daughter’s social development, as well as her potential lifelong friendships. So let it go. Be patient and tolerant, and focus on all the good it’s doing for your daughter. That’s what it’s all about.

 

 

Dear Dr. Clara:

When my husband and I got married seven years ago, we decided never to have children. But I found out a few months ago that I am pregnant. We were careful, but it just happened. It was an accident. Anyway, my husband is furious, and he wants me to abort the baby. But I’m 37 years old, and I feel this will be my last chance to have a child. I didn’t know I would feel this way, but I really want to keep the baby. Unfortunately, my husband feels differently. He has threatened to divorce me if I have the baby. I don’t know what to do. I want both my husband and my baby. Do you have any advice?

Hubby or baby?

- Janice

 

Dear Janice:

I understand where both of you are coming from. It’s certainly natural and normal to want to have a baby, especially since you’re getting older. And your husband has the right to not want the baby, which he made clear before the marriage. But unfortunately, life throws curves and you have to deal with them.

You and your husband need to sit down and talk a lot more, whether you like it or not. We’re not talking about furniture here. It’s a life, and a child is a major concern. Your husband needs to face the facts and think of someone else this time, like you and the baby. After all, he had a hand in this accident, too. And threatening you with a divorce is selfish, hurtful and childish. He should at least look at the issue so he won’t have any regrets.