Dear Clara:

My daughter-in-law has a habit of going out to party almost every night, which is fine, except she has two toddlers, age 2 and 3, whom she dumps on me. I adore my grandkids, but I’m getting tired of baby-sitting, not to mention the kids ask for their mommy. My son is no better as he plays golf five times a week, at least. I’ve recently retired and raised four kids on my own, and I was hoping for some time to myself. But this is driving me crazy. What should I do?

> Exhausted granny, Alice

Dear Alice:

You definitely deserve some time to yourself. It’s very rude and inconsiderate of your daughter-in-law and your son to be dumping their parenting responsibilities on you. First of all, don’t indulge them. Simply say no to them. They can party hardy and get away with it because you’re always there to take advantage of. Besides, they shouldn’t be thinking so much about themselves when they have such young children who need their care and attention. Your son and your daughter-in-law are being extremely selfish and immature, and they need to grow up and realize they are now PARENTS! What a scary thought! Remember, put your foot down and say no and tell them to shape up or you’ll never baby-sit for them again. Now, there’s a real threat.

Dear Clara:

A couple of months ago, a friend of mine, who was only 22 years old, took her life. I know she had a history with depression, but no one saw her suicide coming. My friend was a beautiful and intelligent woman who had a lot of potential, so I don’t understand why she wanted to die. Can you help me understand why anyone would want to take her own life?

> Missing a friend, Chad

Dear Chad:

I’m truly sorry you lost your friend. But maybe you can look at it from her perspective, and it will help you understand this tragedy. There are many reasons why people take their own lives. But most people commit suicide because they are in a lot of pain, and they see death as the only answer.

Suffering from depression, your friend probably experienced one of the worse feelings known to man: complete hopelessness. Do you know what it’s like to have no hope? Although you saw great potential in your friend with beauty and intelligence, it was not enough to make her want to live. To her, life was hopeless and full of pain and the only way out was death. It’s understandable when you think about it. Life is often full of stress, traumas and things we have no control over. Some people can’t cope being alone or losing someone they cannot live without. It’s all about pain. So, look at your friend’s unfortunate death with empathy and compassion and pray that she is in a better place full of hope and peace.